We are mostly unaware of the reality of change in our everyday lives. There are times, for instance, when we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror and wonder, with surprise and even shock, what happened to the youngsters we once were. Where did the time go? While we know intellectually that change is constant, our mental software leads us to believe in permanence.
During meditation this software is redesigned. We become aware that everything that exists is ever changing including our emotions. A feeling of peace can quickly be followed by fear or any one of a number of emotions. And sadness can be followed by love. There is no permanence here. Such body-based awareness means that we are less likely, in our everyday lives, to get stuck in one or another feeling.
When we meditate on the flow of thought we notice that there are moments of rest. The flow isn't permanent. Meditating on physical sensations, be it the rhythm of the breath or the beating of the heart, once again we are aware of restful moments. Even pain doesn't last forever; studying it, we realize that it arises, manifests, and fades.
Not that insight into impermanence offers an easy ride. It teaches that change is both constant and unpredictable, which means that whether you are kind or ruthless sometimes life goes well and sometimes it goes badly.
2/20/2007
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The Psychotherapist's Corner
A meditation-inspired psychotherapy offers people a way of understanding their problems as well as a way of healing them... This full day retreat offers an opportunity to engage in learning mindfulness psychotherapy.
"The approach to working with others that I advocate is one in which spontaneity and humanness is extended to others."
---Chogyam Trungpa Rimposhe
Confusion, though uncomfortable, is a healthy state of mind. That's because it creates a great need for calm and clarity.
Psychotherapists can teach depressed people to become aware of their internal talk. This leads to the insight that thoughts are simply thoughts - nothing more. It also teaches that the person is bigger than his or her thoughts or the depression that comes with them. The result is a greater capacity to cope.
Meditation is a method for moving beyond the isolating tendency of the thinking mind.
Whether in a psychotherapy office or sitting on a cushion, we are practicing awareness. In the psychotherapy office our awareness is trained on the past and on the future. In meditation it is trained on the experience of awareness itself.
Narcissism is a double-edged sword; individuals suffering from narcissism either idealize or devalue themselves and others. Buddhist psychology blunts both sides of this sword by declaring that there is no solid and lasting self. Meditative exercises allow individuals to personally discover that they are ever changing, impermanent, and in the flow of life.
Meditation increases the psychotherapist's capacity for single pointed awareness. Relating in this way to a person who comes for help is an act of deep caring. It heals.
Strange how people come into our offices feeling guilty for trouble that is well beyond human control.
Letting go is a skill that can be taught.
"The approach to working with others that I advocate is one in which spontaneity and humanness is extended to others."
---Chogyam Trungpa Rimposhe
Confusion, though uncomfortable, is a healthy state of mind. That's because it creates a great need for calm and clarity.
Psychotherapists can teach depressed people to become aware of their internal talk. This leads to the insight that thoughts are simply thoughts - nothing more. It also teaches that the person is bigger than his or her thoughts or the depression that comes with them. The result is a greater capacity to cope.
Meditation is a method for moving beyond the isolating tendency of the thinking mind.
Whether in a psychotherapy office or sitting on a cushion, we are practicing awareness. In the psychotherapy office our awareness is trained on the past and on the future. In meditation it is trained on the experience of awareness itself.
Narcissism is a double-edged sword; individuals suffering from narcissism either idealize or devalue themselves and others. Buddhist psychology blunts both sides of this sword by declaring that there is no solid and lasting self. Meditative exercises allow individuals to personally discover that they are ever changing, impermanent, and in the flow of life.
Meditation increases the psychotherapist's capacity for single pointed awareness. Relating in this way to a person who comes for help is an act of deep caring. It heals.
Strange how people come into our offices feeling guilty for trouble that is well beyond human control.
Letting go is a skill that can be taught.
10 comments:
Thank you for your musing re: Impermanence. You must've been reading my mind! However do you do that, my dear? Each night, as I gaze into the super magnified 10X mirror that I purchased from the grat Bed, Bath & Beyond (say it in Wizard of Oz voice)(with my hard earned funds),I am reminded of my impermanence. Another line, another gray hair and yet another unwanted hair. I could go on & on. Why doesn't the peace I feel, the love I have as well as the wisdom and life experience gleaned thus far shine through at this age?To add to this ponderance, in the last 2 weeks, I have had 2 glaring, spiritual, meditative experiences that have lessened my fear and increased acceptance of my tolerance as it relates to my state of impermanence. Maybe I can tell you about it some time?
I can vouch for the fact that your wsidom and life experiences does shine through in your work. You know the importance of valuing ourselves and others right now -- since the now will soon be gone. And we know that insight into impermanence suggests how hard it is for us, given all this change, to keep it all together.
Here's my challenge on this amazing shifting reality: Not to believe, "This is IT!!!!" about any thought/feeling.
My adolescent son is in a very angry, leave-me-alone place. So, I immediately go to - Hmmm, okay - new housing arrangements? or change this other? - planning what can be changed to adapt to give him and me more space. Silly, because 2 days from now he'll be in another place. Actually, 20 minutes later he was. The same applies to "realizations" about myself - delightful and awful ones. When they hit, I think, Oh, Yes! This is the truth! Yes, and... it's part of the kaleidoscope which is this life, or our shifting experience, but it's not "reality."
I honor your willingness to be a teacher!
ami
kaleidoscope! i like that. gonna take it for myself and incorporate that in to my own meditation re: impermanance.
thanks.
I like the metaphor: The kaleidoscope turns and the parts of our lives shift in relation to each other. Acting on the shift, Ami says, and Paula and I appreciate, commits us to a reality that will quickly change. How can we find our way? It is through finding a stillpoint in the turning world. Read the next posting to begin to sense it.
Sometimes, when I have negative feelings, I am so uncomfortable that I want to stop them. When I feel joyful, on the other hand, I just want to hold onto that feeling. There is a lot of energy involved in both grabbing on and pushing away. Your post on impermanence makes me hopeful that I can just let go and watch the flow.
This morning it came clear to me that, when I am feeling joyful, all I have to do is "fall into that feeling". This is no effort involved, no drain on my energy!
That's an insight, Sheila. The next time you're angry or sad fall into the body sensation of that emotion. If you are one with an emotion it will feel deeper, fuller. And remember, all emotions arise, manifest, and fade.
Thank you for the writing on Impermanence. I had an experience recently while meditating, of vibration in sound space. It was like a fairly rapid percussion. Once I realized this was impermanence and something valuable to maintain focus on, my experience of boundaries and structure of sound/talk space dissolved. My sense of time passing also seemed to vanish, and the end-of-sit bell seemed to ring immediately, as if no time had passed. What a different experience to have. I suppose there is value in both impermanence and stable/solid experience. What a gift all this is!
Eric
You suggest that there is value in both impermanence and stable/solid experiences. That leads me to recall the phrase, "Be Here Now" implying that wherever or whatever the "here" is, relax into it... without judgment. Simply go on being.
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