Here is a poem by Basho, the great 17th century Japanese haiku poet:
An ancient pond
A frog jumps in –
Splash!
“An ancient pond” creates the setting. You might imagine tall grasses adorning the water’s edge and old-growth oak surrounding a fairly large body of water.
Maybe this pond is your mind when you sit in meditation – calm and keen at the same time.
“A frog jumps in” is a flash across the screen of your eyes. And your meditative mind is open to receive it – no memories, no planning, no fantasies or judgments get in the way.
“Splash” comes quickly, rippling through your meditative mind. You are one with the sound of water.
Then, perhaps, you move on to meet whatever comes next – calmly, keenly and insightfully.
7/22/2009
6/29/2009
Coming Home
Sometimes it happens that we stumble upon this home -- perhaps while listening to music, sitting still in a garden, of simply looking into a blue sky -- we call it a miracle, a once-in-a- lifetime experience. But then we don't know how to find it again. And we don't know that home is right where you are, in your ordinary life.
A meditation practice teaches how to come home any time you want to.
A meditation practice teaches how to come home any time you want to.
6/28/2009
Coming Home
Meditation gives you a taste of who you really are, your essential nature. I like to call it home. It feels like home. You know you're getting there when the muscles in your body relax, the breath is slow and steady, emotions are in neutral and your internal talk isn't pressured -- it simply comes and goes.
Many of us walk around feeling homeless because we have not found that home. Sadly we're not
taught how to look for it.
Many of us walk around feeling homeless because we have not found that home. Sadly we're not
taught how to look for it.
4/18/2009
No Self and Shame
I like the way you, Charlie, connect "no self" with the capacity to release yourself from shame. And the experience of no self arises as the meditative observer becomes steadier, more able to stake a claim, to mental space. We observe our internal thought, feel the body sensations that accompany it and simply be with it until they fade or change or show signs of instability.
Barbara
Barbara
4/11/2009
Acting From Shame
That you said you would do it and you did it, is great! And you felt competence pleasure, which is an important awareness.
Recall, however, that everything is interconnected. An action arising from shame will affect the action itself; for instance, you might put yourself down as you act from shame. And that’s not positive.
What is truly positive is that you weren’t totally caught up in shame.
If an emotion is too powerful it overrides other emotions. When that happens, it’s important to look for the presence of other feeling states (body sensations indicative of an emotion.) Might your procrastination also include anger? Might you also feel love or compassion for the person who will be affected by your action? Get clear. The result will be that shame will have less prime time. And that’s positive
Recall, however, that everything is interconnected. An action arising from shame will affect the action itself; for instance, you might put yourself down as you act from shame. And that’s not positive.
What is truly positive is that you weren’t totally caught up in shame.
If an emotion is too powerful it overrides other emotions. When that happens, it’s important to look for the presence of other feeling states (body sensations indicative of an emotion.) Might your procrastination also include anger? Might you also feel love or compassion for the person who will be affected by your action? Get clear. The result will be that shame will have less prime time. And that’s positive
3/25/2009
Can shame serve a positive purpose?
Shame is one of the destructive emotions. When it arises inside you (all of us experience it from time to time) look closely and see how your very body shrinks in size. A serious bout of shame makes you shut down, close up shop, and try to disappear. Self-hate is also likely to arise. Then you can’t adequately deal with what is occurring – or even learn from it.
No, I don’t believe that shame can serve a positive purpose. Dependent on its severity, however, it can be more or less destructive.
I do believe that healthy pride – the polar opposite of shame – is a good antidote for shame. The challenge is to enter into a meditative state when you feel shame so that you can be aware of the internal talk and any body sensations that arise. Doing this you don’t hide, instead you are keenly present. You are bigger than your shame.
In another step, while you’re meditating, you can look for the seeds of healthy pride inside you by calling forth the memory of an incident in which you showed a particularly good skill – and allow yourself to know what can be called competency pleasure. Hear the positive internal talk and the good body sensations that come with that pleasure and let a slight smile spread across your lips.
What a remarkable learning to realize the polarity exists and you can choose which side you’re on – even if only for a few brief moments.
No, I don’t believe that shame can serve a positive purpose. Dependent on its severity, however, it can be more or less destructive.
I do believe that healthy pride – the polar opposite of shame – is a good antidote for shame. The challenge is to enter into a meditative state when you feel shame so that you can be aware of the internal talk and any body sensations that arise. Doing this you don’t hide, instead you are keenly present. You are bigger than your shame.
In another step, while you’re meditating, you can look for the seeds of healthy pride inside you by calling forth the memory of an incident in which you showed a particularly good skill – and allow yourself to know what can be called competency pleasure. Hear the positive internal talk and the good body sensations that come with that pleasure and let a slight smile spread across your lips.
What a remarkable learning to realize the polarity exists and you can choose which side you’re on – even if only for a few brief moments.
3/18/2009
Homesickness means that we have left our home and long for the caring that came with it – or we have left our mother’s womb and long for unconditional caring.
Freud recognized that somewhere very deep inside we all have that longing. And he wrote about an “oceanic” feeling that many adults have – like being held and rocked in a universal womb. As meditators, we say this oceanic feeling happens when we are held in the Oneness that is our spiritual home.
The womb and the ocean and the Oneness in which we are all held are reflections of each other.
Freud recognized that somewhere very deep inside we all have that longing. And he wrote about an “oceanic” feeling that many adults have – like being held and rocked in a universal womb. As meditators, we say this oceanic feeling happens when we are held in the Oneness that is our spiritual home.
The womb and the ocean and the Oneness in which we are all held are reflections of each other.
2/23/2009
Feeling homesick
I believe that many of us actually walk around feeling homesick because we have never has even a quick glimpse of the home that is the larger whole. If it happens sometime that we do get that quick glimpse, whether in meditation, prayer, or by simply looking up into the blue sky, we call it a miracle. Then we might realize that something important is missing from our everyday lives, and we begin the search for the larger whole, spirit, or for simple awareness. Still, we have no real idea of what they’re looking for. The experience is actually beyond words.
2/13/2009
It feels like home
Meditation gives us a glimpse of the larger whole. Most of you have had that glimpse – even for a brief moment. It’s a place of great concentration and great clarity. I like to call it home. It feels like home. You know you’re there when your shoulders drop, the muscles in your body relax, the muscles in your face relax, the breath is slow and steady, internal talk isn’t important and you are deeply at peace.
12/28/2008
Self-blame
Let's begin where we began and ended in the last newsletter: We human beings, like all the beings on this earth, are basically good. Why? Because there is nothing right or wrong with life; life "just is."
Sitting in meditation over time, we realize that we "just are" much like a tree in the woods or a bird in flight. We are life. Even if our internal voice keeps making noise, we sense the stillness that is also present. It is all around us and it is in us. That basic stillness is just what is needed to work with destructive emotions.
Self-blame is the thinking part of a particularly destructive emotion called shame. You might, for example, hear yourself thinking: "I shouldn't have (please fill in the space)." If those words come with a body sensation such as a flushing of the face, a shrinking feeling across the whole body, or a desire to flee, you are in the emotion called shame.
We are often ashamed of being ashamed, so we find ways to hide from shame - not to know it exists. Hiding out diminishes our strength and actually gets in the way of any effort to right the wrongs we human beings do.
If, however, we return to the "just is" experience, we discover how to befriend shame, and even more important, how to let it go.
Sitting in meditation over time, we realize that we "just are" much like a tree in the woods or a bird in flight. We are life. Even if our internal voice keeps making noise, we sense the stillness that is also present. It is all around us and it is in us. That basic stillness is just what is needed to work with destructive emotions.
Self-blame is the thinking part of a particularly destructive emotion called shame. You might, for example, hear yourself thinking: "I shouldn't have (please fill in the space)." If those words come with a body sensation such as a flushing of the face, a shrinking feeling across the whole body, or a desire to flee, you are in the emotion called shame.
We are often ashamed of being ashamed, so we find ways to hide from shame - not to know it exists. Hiding out diminishes our strength and actually gets in the way of any effort to right the wrongs we human beings do.
If, however, we return to the "just is" experience, we discover how to befriend shame, and even more important, how to let it go.
11/30/2008
Basic Goodness
We human beings, like all the beings on this earth, are basically good. Why? Because there is nothing right or wrong about life; life just is.
According to Chogyam Trungpa, basic goodness is like a sneeze. "When you sneeze there is no time to think about good or bad. The sneeze just is. The simple capacity to have your own personal experience is basic goodness. It does not have to be compared to basic badness."
To access the felt experience of basic goodness we sit in meditation, and slowly, as we let go of thoughts in the mind and feelings in the body, the "just is" feeling arises. Realizing our basic goodness is an important step toward skillfully managing self-blame, and that will be the focus of our January Meditation Morning.
We are fundamentally good. Why? Because we are Life, and Life is fundamentally good
We just are.
How comforting.
Join me at Bryn Mawr College on December 13th for meditation and a talk on Basic Goodness.
According to Chogyam Trungpa, basic goodness is like a sneeze. "When you sneeze there is no time to think about good or bad. The sneeze just is. The simple capacity to have your own personal experience is basic goodness. It does not have to be compared to basic badness."
To access the felt experience of basic goodness we sit in meditation, and slowly, as we let go of thoughts in the mind and feelings in the body, the "just is" feeling arises. Realizing our basic goodness is an important step toward skillfully managing self-blame, and that will be the focus of our January Meditation Morning.
We are fundamentally good. Why? Because we are Life, and Life is fundamentally good
We just are.
How comforting.
Join me at Bryn Mawr College on December 13th for meditation and a talk on Basic Goodness.
10/30/2008
Full Day Mindfullness Meditation Retreat
5 Reasons to Join Me
- To experience a whole day in silence. It's a powerful release from the talk habit and an entry into a new level of intimacy with your self, with others who are also silent, and with the natural world.
- To increase your power of concentration, which is the ability to focus your attention on something and keep if there for as long as needed. That's the state meditators call being in samadhi.
- To enhance the clarity of your 6 sense gates -- hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, body sensations and thoughts in the mind. Clarity of mind, for instance, enhances your thinking -- your ability to discriminate simply and precisely.
- To develop equanimity. I liken it to watching a herd of buffalo off in the distance. Or it's listening to your children argue without any investment in the outcome -- as long as they don't hurt each other. Sometimes bearing witness is all that's needed for life to take care of itself.
- To experience the delight of meditating with others.
9/26/2008
No Agenda
We come to our Meditation Mornings to sit. At best we sit as if we were rocks, each of us with our own center of gravity. We have no other agenda except to be aware.
It's a strange thing to do, to sit. People "relax" "waste time" or "hang out" but most never - not once in a life time - do they sit with awareness.
Sitting is a powerful act, even a rebellious act since it is an alternative to the frantic busyness in our culture.
And it takes great courage. "Stuff" comes up, be it physical discomfort, the confused mind, or deep loneliness. Our egos rebel and we become antsy, irritated. Then our minds scream GET UP.
Even so, we sit. Our sangha friends support us; we couldn't do it without them. And the Dharma tells us that generations of other meditators have let go of the same demons.
It's a strange thing to do, to sit. People "relax" "waste time" or "hang out" but most never - not once in a life time - do they sit with awareness.
Sitting is a powerful act, even a rebellious act since it is an alternative to the frantic busyness in our culture.
And it takes great courage. "Stuff" comes up, be it physical discomfort, the confused mind, or deep loneliness. Our egos rebel and we become antsy, irritated. Then our minds scream GET UP.
Even so, we sit. Our sangha friends support us; we couldn't do it without them. And the Dharma tells us that generations of other meditators have let go of the same demons.
9/05/2008
Suchness
If you could choose, where would you be right now?
In the relative world? That's where we spend most of our lives. This world takes a myriad of forms including galaxies, ants, and human beings. Birth and death are as basic as pleasure and pain. In meditation we observe the relative inside us in our internal talk, in body sensations that come with emotions, and in our internal imagery. Living in the relative is an incredible trip - and very far from easy.
With an ever-so-subtle shift in focus it's possible, once you know how, to sense the absolute. You might, for instance, be looking at waves rolling toward the shore when, in a flash, you see those waves as part of a larger whole, the ocean. Or you might be looking at a clear blue sky and suddenly sense the immensity of the universe. A peek into the absolute often comes with awe - and the realization that simply being alive is more than enough.
Bringing that realization back to your daily activities you merge the absolute with the relative. That's the world of suchness.
In the relative world? That's where we spend most of our lives. This world takes a myriad of forms including galaxies, ants, and human beings. Birth and death are as basic as pleasure and pain. In meditation we observe the relative inside us in our internal talk, in body sensations that come with emotions, and in our internal imagery. Living in the relative is an incredible trip - and very far from easy.
With an ever-so-subtle shift in focus it's possible, once you know how, to sense the absolute. You might, for instance, be looking at waves rolling toward the shore when, in a flash, you see those waves as part of a larger whole, the ocean. Or you might be looking at a clear blue sky and suddenly sense the immensity of the universe. A peek into the absolute often comes with awe - and the realization that simply being alive is more than enough.
Bringing that realization back to your daily activities you merge the absolute with the relative. That's the world of suchness.
8/12/2008
Building a Meditation Practice
How is your meditation going? Are you finding the twenty to thirty minutes each day that's needed to build a practice? If not, try to make meditation the first thing you do in the morning. Yes, I know that might mean having to get up earlier, but I do believe it's worth it.
I roll out of bed each morning, make a quick stop in the bathroom and then roll on to my zafu or cushion (you may wish to use a chair). I set the time on a small alarm clock, assume the posture, close my eyes and meditate.
My favorite meditation these past few weeks (I have many favorite meditations) has been to look for a place in the body where I feel particularly relaxed. That's fairly easy in the morning. I tend to focus on the stillness in my abdomen. I stay aware of that object for some moments and then I add to it some awareness on the blank screen in front of my closed eyes. You can try this. Often you'll find wavy forms in black or white - or in color. Alternatively you might see a gray blank screen with no movement.
With your awareness on both relax and blank, you are more likely to move into a deep meditative state.
Enjoy! and let me know how it works..
I roll out of bed each morning, make a quick stop in the bathroom and then roll on to my zafu or cushion (you may wish to use a chair). I set the time on a small alarm clock, assume the posture, close my eyes and meditate.
My favorite meditation these past few weeks (I have many favorite meditations) has been to look for a place in the body where I feel particularly relaxed. That's fairly easy in the morning. I tend to focus on the stillness in my abdomen. I stay aware of that object for some moments and then I add to it some awareness on the blank screen in front of my closed eyes. You can try this. Often you'll find wavy forms in black or white - or in color. Alternatively you might see a gray blank screen with no movement.
With your awareness on both relax and blank, you are more likely to move into a deep meditative state.
Enjoy! and let me know how it works..
8/06/2008
Knowing Peace
Sometimes we human beings get caught in negative thoughts and that causes us much unhappiness. You might hear yourself say, "I can't do anything right." Or, with great anger, "How can he be so selfish?" You might even hear, "Why doesn't she understand that I'm right and she is wrong."
When we listen to these negative thoughts in meditation we observe that they can come in bursts of anger and streams of frustration. We observe that they can be directed outward toward others or inward toward the self.
Caught in illusion, many people assume that this negativity is their problem. And they assume they have to get rid of it to feel happy. Negativity isn't a thing can be owned. Instead it's an activity that comes and goes.
7/14/2008
What does it mean to spend a day sitting in meditation?
For me it means
- Sitting in noble silence, which is a way to know people without having to go through a forest of words.
- A chance to study the mind, which includes listening to my internal talk and slowly, as my meditation deepens, finding those precious gaps when I am silent within.
- The ah ha that sometimes arises within -- as if my eyeglasses have suddenly been washed super-clean, in this way revealing a world that is radically clear, bright and vibrant.
6/27/2008
Daylong Mindfulness Meditation Retreat
5 Reasons to Join Me
- To experience a whole day in silence. It's a powerful release from the talk habit and an entry into a new level of intimacy with your self, with others who are also silent, and with the natural world.
- To increase your power of concentration, which is the ability to focus your attention on something and keep if there for as long as needed. That's the state meditators call being in samadhi.
- To enhance the clarity of your 6 sense gates -- hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, body sensations and thoughts in the mind. Clarity of mind, for instance, enhances your thinking -- your ability to discriminate simply and precisely.
- To develop equanimity. I liken it to watching a herd of buffalo off in the distance. Or it's listening to your children argue without any investment in the outcome -- as long as they don't hurt each other. Sometimes bearing witness is all that's needed for life to take care of itself.
- To experience the delight of meditating with others.
5/28/2008
Know Your Demons
We all have our demons. Let's imagine yours takes the form of an unhappy marriage. Buddhist psychology teaches that this demon lives inside you even though it appears to exist outside - in your partner.
To meet your unhappy-marriage demon sit in meditation and place your awareness on the part of the body where you have sensations that come with emotions. If you're not sure where that is, focus on the face, the neck, and the front of the torso. That's where these body sensations tend to arise, although not always.
Now bring an unhappy marital moment to mind. Perhaps you sense tightness in the neck and shoulders, and for you that indicates anger. Focus in again and you discover a feeling of heaviness in the whole body and a teary feeling around your eyes. It's clear that your demon is both angry and sad. Listen to your internal talk to hear what your demon is saying that is angry or sad.
One day you decide to offer the demon a cup of sweet tea and it works! Now the demon is less absorbing and you have the oomph to find other ways to live in your marriage.
To meet your unhappy-marriage demon sit in meditation and place your awareness on the part of the body where you have sensations that come with emotions. If you're not sure where that is, focus on the face, the neck, and the front of the torso. That's where these body sensations tend to arise, although not always.
Now bring an unhappy marital moment to mind. Perhaps you sense tightness in the neck and shoulders, and for you that indicates anger. Focus in again and you discover a feeling of heaviness in the whole body and a teary feeling around your eyes. It's clear that your demon is both angry and sad. Listen to your internal talk to hear what your demon is saying that is angry or sad.
One day you decide to offer the demon a cup of sweet tea and it works! Now the demon is less absorbing and you have the oomph to find other ways to live in your marriage.
4/29/2008
An Ocean of Awareness
Most of us live in a very small pond of awareness because we're trapped in our internal talk - mostly in the stories we tell ourselves. These stories function like filters that limit what we see, hear, feel, taste, smell, and think. Often we're not even aware that the filters exist.
To expand into an ocean of awareness, we use one-pointed awareness. It actually dissolves the filters and exposes our six senses to life as it truly is. Aiming one-pointed awareness toward a black bird's whistle we hear a subtle inflection or the sound of silence.
To expand into an ocean of awareness, we use one-pointed awareness. It actually dissolves the filters and exposes our six senses to life as it truly is. Aiming one-pointed awareness toward a black bird's whistle we hear a subtle inflection or the sound of silence.
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